Abu Hamza and the Tiddlywinks AGM

What does Abu Hamza's right to be British have to do with my fight for the Tiddlywink 'One'?

You have to understand that the impassioned plea that I should get all the awards was not argued from a selfish perspective. This is part of my continuing philosophical battle against tyranny in all its forms. The fact that I could possibly clean up at the AGM awards dinner was besides the point. The stats had been added up and the figures as far as I could see inarguable. I not only had the best 'tiddling' average but had also 'winked' myself to the top of the league as well. In fact, according the stats all fourteen awards should be mine. El Presidente de Tiddly Winks de Barrio de Bathavonton sees things differently.

Tyranny is defined as the 'cruel and arbitrary use of authority'. Now clearly, to deprive me of my rightful awards would be cruel but I want to talk more about the arbitrary aspect of the discussion. El Presidente has always been keen to point out that the club manages to exist without any formal rules, without elections and guided only by his benign leadership. In practice this has seen our little banana republic  rub along very nicely and in recent years go from strength to tiddly winking strength. This state of affairs is, of course, fine until there is a possibility of me losing out on awards due to an arbitrary decision by the ruling junta.  

'British nationality is a privilege'

We live in a world that is overwhelmed with rules, it tests the patience of most of us and it provokes editorials in the Daily Mail. Why do we have so many? The rules have developed through case law and legislation to protect rights. They may be annoying but they are a sign that our society has reached a high level of political and social maturity. We should expect to be safe in our work place, we should expect standards of cleanliness in restaurants. You can quibble about the extent of the rules but in principle we can agree that they are a good thing. It's just annoying when they sometimes stop us doing exactly what we want, isn't it?

What seems to get people particularly annoyed and provoke 'political correctness gone mad' headlines are the extent that human rights get extended to...well, everybody who is British. The fact that a European Court is seen to repeatedly overturn British decisions merely exacerbates the problem for many. In this context the decision of a British Special Immigration and Appeals Commission (SIAC) to allow Abu Hamza to keep his British citizenship will no doubt have some scratching their heads.

Hamza has been found guilty on 11 charges including 'encouraging the murder of non-Muslims and intent to stir up racial hatred'. Yet, I think, we should all be proud of this decision. If the battle against Islamic extremism is a battle of liberal democratic culture against a religious tyranny then this is a victory for our way of life. Would we be given the same protection under Hamza's kind of government? No, and that is why our culture is worth preserving. Hamza, a British citizen for 20 years has rights. This tells the world about the strength of our values. It's a powerful message.

"If a normal, vanilla-flavoured Brit did something wrong, we would simply bang them up in prison"

The Home Office have said they will consider the decision carefully and added: 'British nationality is a privilege and the Home Secretary has the ability to remove it from dual nationals when she believes it to be in the public good.' British nationality is a privilege because it affords a 'citizen' a certain level of protection from the type of arbitrary action the Home Secretary is proposing. By throwing people out rather than dealing with suspects through British courts are the government not just passing on the problems to other countries, but also admitting that they can not protect us?

As the appropriately named Sarah Left argued in the guardian: 'Not every citizen is a credit to this nation, but when, say, Jeffrey Archer embarrassed the Conservative party by committing criminal acts, he was imprisoned. No one mentioned exile. As a Home Office spokesman put it, if a "normal, vanilla-flavoured Brit" had done something wrong, the justice system would simply "bang them up in prison".'

Hamza is currently fighting extradition to another country where he faces charges for terrorism. In another one of those seemingly ironic decisions, the European Court has repeatedly defended Hamza's right not to be extradited to the country because it can not be certain that he will be treated humanely. That country is the USA. Our biggest ally in the 'War against Terror' and we can't extradite a suspected terrorist to them on human rights grounds. In the battle for hearts and minds is our cause helped by that sort of message?

Save the Tiddlywink 'One'

Meanwhile, on a more serious note, I pledge to continue my single-handed fight against tyranny. I will  await the announcements of the awards at the Bathavonton Tiddlers' AGM. Will democracy overcome tyranny? Will enlightenment principles override El Presidente's arbitrary brand of decision-making, or will the awards be distributed to the throng like gifts at a Christmas party. Such utilitarianism might keep the majority happy but it wouldn't be just.

Oh, hang-on, there are some men with balaclavas at the door, I wonder what they want?