Arise Queen Posh and King Becks

The news that Prince William is engaged to be married to Kate Middleton has sent ripples of indifference through the nation. Long gone are the days when the bunting would be out on every street. After 30 years of sordid marital betrayal only the deluded can believe in fairytales anymore. Cameron's statement that the Coalition cabinet members were cheering and thumping the table with glee should give us all pause for thought. 

Even the BBC's Royal Correspondent Peter Hunt, who must have given a sigh of relief given the cuts the BBC are facing, found it hard to summon-up any enthusiasm. It is hard to believe his claim that, "I know many people who are actively thinking about where they will place their picnic tables and chair once they have a date." Really? Yet in our supposed meritocratic and classless age, perhaps the decision of our future, next-in-line to a feudal symbol of hereditary privilege and entitlement - or king, if you prefer - to marry into 'trade' should be a signal for all of us to celebrate.

Many aristocratic families over the centuries, facing financial difficulties, have sought to marry into money. I'm sure that the choice of Ms Middleton, the daughter Carole and Mike - successful children's party entrepreneurs, must have pleased the whole family, especially the Duke of Edinburgh who's famous for his common-touch such as asking a Edinburgh driving instructor, 'How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?'

Despite the regal smile, getting the begging bowl out must be particularly hard on the Queen. To many she has been a beacon of our nation's dignity, rising above the grubbiness of modern life. Only in September we learnt of her dignified attempt to tap into a £60 million poverty fund earmarked for schools, hospitals and low-income families. In these tough times how can the the world's largest landowner with a personal fortune of £349 million and an annual contribution of £7.9 million from the state make ends meet? She is a lesson to us all.

The eight years 'living in sin' have given the Middleton's a long time to prepare for the news and they have needed it. Universities are not what they used to be and your children can easily get involved with the wrong types. William actually seems like quite a nice young man. However, it must be trying for these middle Englanders to accept that Kate will be marrying into to a immigrant family characterised by immorality, unemployment and welfare dependency. 

Like an embarrassing dad in 'Shameless', Prince Charles' comment that the couple had been 'practising' for long enough must have sent shivers down their spines. It is only to be hoped that the Middleton's influence can help the Windsors reach the higher moral standards set by Daily Mail readers. Family occasions could be particularly trying. 

It is to William's credit that he has tried to avoid many of the pitfalls that his family have fallen. Although, I do wonder how Kate felt being given his mother's ' The one to rule them all' engagement ring given the luck it brought Diana? The Royal Family are on the offensive with a wedding and then the jubilee to galvanise support. However, I think the tide is against them although it is seldom recognised. Even the Tories refused to increase the Civil List this year - the 20th year in succession it has stayed the same - and in the long run do we need a monarchy that has the air of a provincial door-to-door salesman? Doesn't the monarchy need a touch of glamour? Will's attempt to 'do' ordinary may just be another nail in the monarchy.

I hope that Will and Kate have a long and happy marriage but if we have to have a monarchy, couldn't we keep the palaces and install Posh and Becks, just think what that would do for tourism?